Run Happy
I started running about 11 years ago. I remember when I first started I was definitely a back of the packer and walked more than I ran. As I increased my fitness and endurance I was able to run for longer periods of time and then eventually run at a faster pace. I enjoy the act of running, moving in forward momentum and being able to do something I never thought possible. I enjoy challenging my limits and pushing myself. I have also enjoyed racing around the world, exploring new places, hitting PRs and meeting new friends. I had several sub 4 hour marathons in what I guess I consider the height of my road running days and I felt proud and accomplished. But over time, I started to get really anxious and obsessed about my pace and time and suddenly something that I came to love & enjoy became something I stressed out about. When I didn’t hit a pace I thought I should or continuously get PR‘s, I started to judge myself negatively and put myself down. I was super critical and it started to impact my self-esteem almost as if my value and self worth was determined by how fast I ran. I used to post my runs on Strava, but when people started commenting on how slow I was going versus how fast I used to be, I knew I needed to separate myself from that. Which is why now, I never post my times for my training runs because it honestly doesn’t matter. Time & pace is a good training tool to help with workouts, but it’s not the end all be all. If I was the best me on that day and in that moment, that’s all I care about. And if I wasn’t, I use that as an opportunity to learn and grow.
So after that, I decided that I wanted to find the love of running that I once had no matter how fast or slow that may be. And that’s when I started gravitating towards trail running and ultra distances.
There’s a different mentality that comes along with trail running versus road running. As road runners we tend to hyper focus on pace and time and where we placed in our age group, but with trail running, time doesn’t matter. It’s more about distance covered, how much you can eat, and supporting one another throughout the process, even stopping your race to help a fellow athlete. It’s within the trail running and ultra community that I was able to reconnect with my joy of running. I’m definitely not the fastest and would consider myself more of a middle of the packer (or end of the middle) and I’m very happy about that. I’m not doing these races for recognition, for a fast time or any fancy awards, but for myself so I can continuously rediscover my limits and to be the best me that I can be in that moment.
For all my runner friends, give yourself permission to stop obsessing about your pace and PRs & stop comparing yourself to others. Enjoy the process and be grateful that you have the privilege and the ability to run. Your pace doesn’t define the awesome person that you are nor does one bad race take away all your hard work and what you accomplished up to that point.
And to my friends who are interested in running, but are a little intimidated by it… know you truly can do it. Everybody and I mean EVERYBODY can be a runner. Start small and build slowly. And remember… at the end of the day a mile is still a mile and it doesn’t matter how fast or slow you did it in.